


Goodbye

by Chibi_Mochi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cheating, M/M, Panic Attacks, Separation Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 09:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27348997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibi_Mochi/pseuds/Chibi_Mochi
Summary: Oikawa trust Iwaizumi so much that it ends up hurting him in the end.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 66
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Day 2 of Haikyuu Angst Week 2020  
> Prompt: Phone calls, Texts, Insecurities, "Was I ever enough?"

Oikawa never knew what entailed his decision to go to Argentina. All he knew was he was chasing his dream. He wasn't aware that going after something you've always wanted to attain would mean having constant panic attacks. The first time Oikawa experienced a panic attack was when he got lost in Buenos Aires. Oikawa barely knew how to speak more or less understand Spanish when he lost his map and had to ask locals where he had to go to. He kept messing up the language, and he'd continuously receive glances thrown his way. He could feel his breathing go faster, and his head started spiraling to a dark space. Oikawa was all too familiar with the palpitation, chest pain, and nausea. He quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket, his hand trembling as he reaches in. He pressed the speed dial, and just as he started to feel dizzy, the person on the other line picked up.

"What is it? You do know it's night time in Japan, don't you?" Iwaizumi asked in an irritated tone. His voice was deep and husky, an indication that he just woke up. Oikawa gasped for air as he puts his hand on his chest. No one seemed to care that Oikawa was panting and gasping for air in the middle of the busy street of Buenos Aires because no one dared to approach him.

"Ha-" Oikawa started, but the chest pain he was feeling was so strong that he couldn't speak.

"Tooru, where are you? Are you alright?" Iwaizumi asked, his voice sounded panicked, and Oikawa answered by furiously shaking his head even though Iwaizumi couldn't see.

"Tooru, breathe with me," Iwaizumi instructed. Oikawa nodded and listened to Iwaizumi's instructions. Iwaizumi guided him to take slow breaths as he inserts a few encouraging words and praises in between until Oikawa was back to being okay.

During the first days of Oikawa's stay in Argentina, he discovered that he could only sleep while listening to Iwaizumi because of separation anxiety. Oikawa explained it to Iwaizumi, and they agreed to call and text until Oikawa gets used to Argentina. It took months for Oikawa to settle in, but it was worth it because he could do things independently by the time he reached his anniversary of staying in Argentina. He didn't need to call Iwaizumi to lull him to sleep anymore, nor did he need to be on the phone with Iwaizumi when he goes to unfamiliar places. Though Oikawa's independence resulted in lessened calls and messages, they still stuck to their daily calls at eight in the evening, Japan standard time.

The distance didn't seem to bother them during the first two years, but as time passed and they got older, they got busier, which meant spending less time calling and messaging each other. Oikawa thought everything was fine, not until he called Iwaizumi one evening. They haven't talked to each other for almost two days. Oikawa just needed to hear Iwaizumi's voice after a rough day of training with his college seniors.

"Hey, Hajime," Oikawa whispered, he was sitting on his couch, and he had his phone propped on the coffee table so he could eat while calling Iwaizumi. It was morning in Japan, but Oikawa still decided to call him because he knew it was Iwaizumi's free time.

"Hey," Iwaizumi replied. There was a moment of silence as Oikawa waits for Iwaizumi to settle. He didn't seem to be on campus because he saw a bed, but it wasn't the same one that Oikawa was familiar with. He wanted to ask about it but chose not to when Iwaizumi spoke. "What made you call?"

"I just wanted to hear you," Oikawa answered, "We had a rough training session earlier, and I feel like shit after missing a few sets,"

Iwaizumi sighed, "it's okay. It happens sometimes," he said. Oikawa smiled at him and propped his elbows on his knees.

"Your flight to Cali is in three days, right?" Oikawa asked, and Iwaizumi nodded. The setter smiled and took a piece of bread from the plate resting on the coffee table as he asks, "tell me when your graduation is so I can save up,"

Iwaizumi smiled at him and nodded, "right, okay, I need to go. I still have classes," Oikawa nodded, and before he could even say the three words that he wanted to tell him, Iwaizumi had already ended the call. Oikawa pressed his lips into a thin line because Iwaizumi would always wait for Oikawa to say goodbye before ending the call, but it seems like today was different.

"He's busy," Oikawa whispered before his thoughts start going into a pit hole. Oikawa continued to struggle with volleyball training, and every time he tries to call Iwaizumi, he would be unavailable, and Oikawa would be sent to voice mail. The brunette was slowly starting to fear that maybe Iwaizumi was getting tired of him, and scrolling through the man's social media account wasn't helpful.

Oikawa was lying on his bed, phone in his hand as he scrolls through social media. Iwaizumi ignored his calls and messages for the past week, but Oikawa keeps seeing him getting tagged in random posts. Oikawa gulped and braved through all of the photos, praying he won't see anything that would hurt him. As he goes through Iwaizumi's tagged post, he slowly felt reassured that when he saw that it was mostly during a study session or was something taken inside the campus. Everything was alright, and Oikawa was almost convinced that he was overthinking things, but a certain photo took his attention.

It was a group photo and taken in their school laboratory. It was a normal photo, except that Iwaizumi's hand was resting on one of the girl's thighs. Oikawa gulped and decided to press on the girl's tagged profile, and as he goes through her post, he could Iwaizumi with her, may it be photos of just them or group photos with them together. Oikawa could feel tears rolling down his cheeks as he continues to scroll. He had to pause and take a deep breath to calm himself, "You're overthinking, Tooru. Hajime won't do that to you," Oikawa whispered to himself.

The brunette decided to turn off his phone and went to the washroom to take a warm shower before sleeping. He didn't want to sleep with tear-stained cheeks, and he refuses to believe what he saw. Iwaizumi would never cheat on him, that's what he believes, or that's what he wanted to believe. Oikawa trusted his boyfriend. They've been together ever since high school, and he refuses to assume or believe what he only sees on social media. He wouldn't believe anything unless it came from Iwaizumi himself.

Oikawa wanted to ignore the photos that he saw that night. He didn't want to linger on the thought that maybe Iwaizumi was cheating on him, but every time it sneaks its way into Oikawa's head, he couldn't help but compare himself. She's pretty, her blonde curly hair that ended on her waist was beautiful, her waist was slim and curvy, her azure eyes were glowing as she looks into the camera, and her smile could make you feel warm. Oikawa stared at the mirror and saw the complete opposite of her. All he saw were dull, tired eyes that had bags under them, a thin, lanky body because he couldn't eat properly in the past months, dry curly brunette hair, and cracked chapped lips. He was nothing compared to her, and it left Oikawa feeling insecure. He sat on his bed and sighed as tears slowly streaming down his cheeks. He's been having a difficult time, and Iwaizumi hasn't called nor texted. He didn't need to feel insecure right now. Oikawa was about to lose it when his phone started ringing, and Iwaizumi's caller ID flashed on the screen. Oikawa gulped as he expects the worst. Maybe Iwaizumi was calling because he wanted to break up.

Oikawa didn't want to answer the call, but he also needed to hear Iwaizumi's voice, so he answered it against his better judgment.

"Hey, Haji, it's been a while," Oikawa said as he answers. He tries his best to hide the trembling in his voice but knowing Iwaizumi, he'll probably notice.

"Tooru, are you crying?" Iwaizumi asked in a panicked tone, Oikawa wiped his eyes and chuckled to hide it, but it did the opposite when it came out as a broken chuckle.

"No, Haji, I'm fine," Oikawa answered and pressed his lips into a thin line.

"Open your door. I'm outside," Iwaizumi commanded. Oikawa raised his head and quickly ran to his door to confirm what Iwaizumi said.

"Hajime," Oikawa whispered and quickly wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi's neck. He sobbed into the crook of his boyfriend's neck. Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around Oikawa's waist, letting his thumb draw circles as he preps kisses on Oikawa's cheeks.

"I missed you," Oikawa whispered, forgetting all the overthinking he was doing on his bed earlier.

"I missed you too," Iwaizumi whispered and kissed Oikawa's neck. The brunette wouldn't let go of him, so Iwaizumi decided to carry his boyfriend to his room before taking in his bags.

"Why haven't you been calling?" Oikawa asked when they were already lying on his bed, covered by the warmth of his comforter. Iwaizumi ran his hands through Oikawa's hair as he kisses Oikawa's forehead.

"I was busy with school and work. I wanted to see you, so I took up two part-time jobs to earn money to buy a ticket." Iwaizumi explained. Oikawa suddenly felt stupid for doubting his boyfriend. That night, Oikawa admitted his suspicions, and Iwaizumi was disappointed, but he didn't hold it against Oikawa. Ever since that night, Iwaizumi decided to call Oikawa as often as he could, and if he couldn't, he'll leave text messages to avoid his boyfriend from spiraling. Oikawa, on the other hand, became more understanding. He did his best not to be jealous of Iwaizumi's friends, and he'd always voice out his feelings to Iwaizumi even if it goes straight to voicemail.

The new system they created was better, and Oikawa felt like they were growing as a couple. This continued until they were in their last year at University. Oikawa visited Iwaizumi when it was his graduation, and Iwaizumi did the same for Oikawa. They were happy. That's what Oikawa thought, even though they'd have arguments sometimes. Oikawa didn't mind the few arguments they had because that's a normal thing for couples. Besides, they'd make up within an hour or two anyway. So Oikawa didn't expect what he saw when he arrived early in Japan to surprise Iwaizumi a day before their match.

Oikawa decided to arrive in Japan a day early to surprise Iwaizumi. He even asked Atsumu to stall for him and find a way for Iwaizumi to stay after practice so Oikawa could have his boyfriend all to himself. Atsumu agreed, and when Oikawa received a go signal to enter the gym, he happily skipped and yelled, "Hajime!"

The two people occupying the empty gym froze as they turn towards Oikawa. The brunette felt his eyes go blurry as he stares at Iwaizumi, who had red puffy lips and a few hickeys on his neck, a surprised expression on his face when Oikawa caught him making out with a woman. Oikawa could feel his chest tighten and his heart constrict. He could feel the tears freely rolling down his cheeks. He clutched his chest and tried to steady his breathing.

"Tooru, breathe with-" Iwaizumi said as he runs to Oikawa to help him, but the setter pushes his hand away.

"Since when? Oikawa asked as he raised his head to look at Iwaizumi. He could see the guilt in Iwaizumi's eyes, and it made his chest feel tighter.

"Since our third year in university," Oikawa could feel his heart shatter. It's been that long. His mind went back to the time he had a video call with Iwaizumi, and he was in a room he didn't recognize. That's probably one. Then his memories when to the time he scrolled through social media and saw Iwaizumi hanging out with the blonde girl.

"How many times?" Oikawa choked. He could feel his head spinning, and his eyes were becoming blurrier with each passing second. It felt like his heartstrings were snapping as he listens to Iwaizui's answer, "Six times,"

Oikawa scoffed, he wanted to say more, but his tightening chest and dizziness were making it hard. He tried his best to steady his breath enough to be able to ask, "Was I never enough?"

"Tooru," Iwaizumi whispered and attempted to touch him when he fell on his kneed, clutching his chest. Drool was pooling on the pool as Oikawa tries to breathe through his mouth. But he still refused to receive help from Iwaizumi.

"Tooru, let me help you," Iwaizumi said in a pained tone. Oikawa hated hearing his name from Iwaizumi's mouth. He hated how hearing his name from the person he spent his entire life with would make his guts churn and his chest ache.

"Get the fuck away from me!" Oikawa forced himself to scream. It must the seething anger he felt that helped him scream despite his panic attack. He heard his voice echo before he heard rushed footsteps coming towards them.

"Toto-kun," He heard Atsumu's voice as he felt arms wrap around his arms. He leaned against Atsumu's shoulder before passing out.

Oikawa woke up and was greeted with a white ceiling. He could feel someone's hand on his, and he immediately scowled when he saw Iwaizumi sleeping beside him. He harshly pulled his hand away and got out of the bed. Being on the same bed as Hajime used to bring him comfort, but now, all he could feel was rage. Oikawa waited for Iwaizumi to wake up, and when he did, Oikawa said, "get out. I don't need you,"

Iwaizumi begged. He was down on his knees, hugging Oikawa's waist as he begs him not to break up with him. Oikawa scoffed and wiped the tears from his eyes, "Iwaizumi, you cheated on me six times with six different people. You knew how insecure I felt when I saw your photos with that blonde girl when you were in Cali. I bared my heart to you every single time, but you still chose to cheat on me despite knowing all of my insecurities and struggles,"

"I'm sorry, Tooru," Iwaizumi cried into his stomach, but Oikawa was too hurt to feel sorry for Iwaizumi.

"I loved you, Iwaizumi. But I guess I was never enough for you because you cheated on me," Oikawa whispered and ran his hands through Iwaizumi's hair. "Let's end this,"

Iwaizumi shook his head, "no, Tooru, that was a mistake. I promise I won't do it this time. Tooru, you're more than enough for me, I swear,"

Oikawa scoffed, "Iwaizumi, cheating is never a mistake, it's a choice, and you chose to cheat on me six times. I trusted you so much that it ended up hurting me. So, even if you beg, I can't be with you, Hajime. Now, if you'll kindly leave before I call the nurses to drag you out."

Iwaizumi raised his head and repeatedly apologized, trying to convince Oikawa to stay with him, to give him another chance. But Oikawa had already made his choice.

"Goodbye, Hajime," Oikawa whispered as he watches the security drag Iwaizumi out of his room.


End file.
